Tag Archives: Jawbone

Activity tracker hates me

My activity tracker hates me


Activity tracker hates me

That’s me after a run. Okay, it’s not me, I’m lazy, haven’t run since the last time I was about to miss a bus, and I bought a Jawbone Up a few months ago to motivate me. I’ve since come to the sad conclusion that my fitness tracker hates me.


Well. At first I had it set to nag me every 30 minutes if I hadn’t moved. This was called an idle alert and it vibrated the  bracelet helpfully to remind me I was being a lazy cow. Except that I wasn’t really being lazy at all. I was on a train, or a bus, or a deadline. The problem was that it didn’t know that my lack of physical activity wasn’t always down to Eastenders and Netflix, but most of the time I was doing things that paid for luxuries like a smart phone with a Jawbone app that nags me.

I soon turned that function off. It made me feel  guilty when I WAS being lazy and  just annoyed me.

I loved the nifty sleep function. I really like getting geeky and seeing how  much sleep I’ve had, dream sleep, deep sleep and light sleep. As I expected, most of my sleep is light, which is  my beloved’s farts always wake me up! Its a great function…until it starts nagging you to go to bed. “Smart Coach noticed you’ve been going to bed late recently” and “Try to go to sleep before 9.53 to get enough sleep”

I’m 45! It’s a while since anyone’s told me  it’s past my bedtime.

Even better, if I do defy smart coach, it tells me off. “You missed your bedtime!”


Another reason my activity tracker hates me is that I don’t do 10,000 steps a day. I mean, sometimes I do. But you know, rain, cold, work, Hollyoaks. So it tells me how many steps I do and helpfully adds, “You haven’t been  your normal active self today”

Smart Coach is a sarcastic cow.

If my heart rate is a bit high when I wake up, it helpfully suggests that I might like to drink more water, do some yoga or go to bed early. I was probably just having one of those awful nightmares about spiders. Or my ex husband.

So why can’t I just take it off and stamp on it? It’s because when I do hit my step target, sleep for eight hours and drink eight glasses of water, I feel like I’ve achieved something. Until smart coach tells me I missed bedtime AGAIN…

If you want to torture yourself with your lack of activity or erratic sleep habits, find out more here…. https://jawbone.com/up




Change of direction


You have no idea what I’ve been through to get this blog post done. But I was inspired and it seemed a shame not to run with it. 

So I’m writing from my phone, because the only way I can update this at the moment is by turning the WiFi off and using my data. Really. The web host has been having some issues with all the sites in its server and mine have all copped it. If you’re looking at the link on a Sky connection you’ll think it’s expired. Excrement. I meant to type excellent there, and it got auto corrected, but I liked it.

So, a change of direction?  I’ve been a bit lost taking about the plus size and health stuff lately. I’m just not as  bothered as I was. I’m bored with all the outrage and pointless spats about the use of the term plus size. Or who is really fat and who is playing at it.

I don’t want to go on about my life either. It’s not that exciting. I write stuff. I eat stuff. Sometimes I exercise. You know about Dad. I miss him, we all do, but you guys don’t want to hear about that every time I write a post.

I can’t tell you about the job I just left. Maybe  because I signed the official secrets act and I don’t fancy being thumb screwed by the men in grey at HMRC if I spill the beans on the highly classified work I was doing there. Or maybe because I’ve filed the whole experience under “WTF was I thinking?“ and subdivision “never speak of this again”

So I’m just going to talk about  everyday stuff that I think about. I’m getting my mojo back, found my sparkle under the sofa and I’m on a massive creative roll at the moment. Right now the things occupying my mind include my sleep statistics (I’ve got  a Jawbone), and a lack of sleep, according to said gadget.

Turning 45 and not wanting to look or feel it is up there, along with the perennial “Why do people watch Jeremy Kyle and even worse, why do they appear on it? “

I might even share a bit of politics if I’m feeling ranty. I’m a lefty, liberal, feminist Europhile so that could make for interesting comments.

It’s getting late so right now all I’ll say is:

1. I wish my laptop would bloody well finish its updates. It’s been on 34 of 36 since I started this post and I want to go to bed now.

2. I really want my blog fixed so people on Sky Broadband can see it and not think this is a spam site.

3. I wonder if I’ll get eight hours sleep tonight. My Jawbone app twinkles at me if I do.

Night all.

Still on update 34….