That’s me after a run. Okay, it’s not me, I’m lazy, haven’t run since the last time I was about to miss a bus, and I bought a Jawbone Up a few months ago to motivate me. I’ve since come to the sad conclusion that my fitness tracker hates me.
Well. At first I had it set to nag me every 30 minutes if I hadn’t moved. This was called an idle alert and it vibrated the bracelet helpfully to remind me I was being a lazy cow. Except that I wasn’t really being lazy at all. I was on a train, or a bus, or a deadline. The problem was that it didn’t know that my lack of physical activity wasn’t always down to Eastenders and Netflix, but most of the time I was doing things that paid for luxuries like a smart phone with a Jawbone app that nags me.
I soon turned that function off. It made me feel guilty when I WAS being lazy and just annoyed me.
I loved the nifty sleep function. I really like getting geeky and seeing how much sleep I’ve had, dream sleep, deep sleep and light sleep. As I expected, most of my sleep is light, which is my beloved’s farts always wake me up! Its a great function…until it starts nagging you to go to bed. “Smart Coach noticed you’ve been going to bed late recently” and “Try to go to sleep before 9.53 to get enough sleep”
I’m 45! It’s a while since anyone’s told me it’s past my bedtime.
Even better, if I do defy smart coach, it tells me off. “You missed your bedtime!”
Another reason my activity tracker hates me is that I don’t do 10,000 steps a day. I mean, sometimes I do. But you know, rain, cold, work, Hollyoaks. So it tells me how many steps I do and helpfully adds, “You haven’t been your normal active self today”
Smart Coach is a sarcastic cow.
If my heart rate is a bit high when I wake up, it helpfully suggests that I might like to drink more water, do some yoga or go to bed early. I was probably just having one of those awful nightmares about spiders. Or my ex husband.
So why can’t I just take it off and stamp on it? It’s because when I do hit my step target, sleep for eight hours and drink eight glasses of water, I feel like I’ve achieved something. Until smart coach tells me I missed bedtime AGAIN…
If you want to torture yourself with your lack of activity or erratic sleep habits, find out more here…. https://jawbone.com/up