It’s day two of my ‘how long can I keep up blogging every day’ challenge to myself, and today’s post is inspired by Facebook. More specifically, a post added by my lovely friend Lindsey, who I’ve known since I was in my teens and therefore has seen many of my unwise fashion decisions.
She posted a photo from about 1993/4 in which to be fair you can’t see much of what I’m wearing, but while we were trying to work out when it was taken, I dug out an old photo of me from 1993 from the wedding I thought it had been taken at. I was wrong, but when Mr saw the photo lying around, he actually thought it was my Mum, In fact I was only 22. Want to see it? Are you ready for the bright green monstrosity?
OK, I may have lost my waistline since 1993 but at least I gained a bit of fashion sense…eventually. The story behind this outfit was that I got married in 1993, and this was what I chose as my ‘going away outfit’. I bought it from Mum’s Empire Stores catalogue and carefully accessorised it with a bag in a completely different shade of green. Someone should have had a word.
The going away outfit only needed to travel 50 miles down the A14 in my (now ex) husbands red Ford Fiesta. We went out for a wedding meal at the local Beefeater, and then spent our first married night at home before driving to Derbyshire. I don’t think I took the lurid green outfit with me.
The second picture is the oldest. I haven’t got many from 1996 onwards as I chucked most of the pictures of me with husband number two and the people I used to be joined at the hip with. There’s plenty to go on from my early days though. Like this one from 1988.
In case the full horror of this outfit hasn’t hit you, I have a perm. And I’m wearing dungarees. There really is no justification for this look, although there was worse on that trip – one of the boys dressed up in a top of mine along with full make up and spent an entire evening in drag. I was 17, on my first solo holiday abroad with a load of teenagers from different countries, and no, there’s still no excuses.
By 1989, thankfully the perm had grown out. But my fashion sense was still in its infancy and so it was no surprise that I thought this beautiful example of the Christmas jumper was a good idea. This photo proves otherwise but at least I can say that it was ironic. Can’t I? No, it wasn’t. I loved that jumper.
The early nineties were not a good time for me. I seem to have been lured into Novelty T-shirt territory, but in my defence, I’d just got my first Top Shop card and gone a bit mad thinking it was free money so I could spend it on whatever tat I wanted.
The picture quality is awful as I’ve tried to crop a couple of other people out of an already quite small image…but you can see the horror of the Piglet tee. It was incredibly hot when that was taken and I remember sweat trickling down the back of my shorts at one point. I had a stunning dress that I bought at the same time, it was a really gorgeous boho style floral dress that I looked lovely in, but of course there’s no evidence of that, only the Piglet tee.
Sometimes I accessorised this look with incredibly large hoop earrings that got caught up on everything. Note the nasty white plastic watch, too.
I think this is from 1994.
Only because my hair is still quite long and I had an unfortunate accident at a salon the following year that made me look like a mushroom.
So, the stars and moons dress. What’s not to love? It’s second only to the juicy fruits leggings that I bought in 1992 in the ‘unusual clothes I have worn’ category. This dress came from a gorgeous little boutique shop in Cambridge, which sold way overpriced clothes. I wanted to buy something from that shop and I think this frock was on sale. There’s no other reason for it, nobody else wanted to buy it, so I did.
I seem to remember I also treated myself to the most difficult to walk in platform wedges at the same time and I used to walk from one side of Cambridge to the other in them to get to work. Amazingly I never broke any bones but it was a good 2.5 miles. I don’t know what happened to the dress. It should have been saved as a reminder of what happens when posh boutiques have sales and reduce their stock so that I can afford it.
OK, so this is what happened to my hair in 1995.
The sunflower tee was just about acceptable but I decided I wanted a change and so I had my hair chopped off really short. This wasn’t a good move, as you can see. Luckily, it grew back.
So from 1996 onwards I haven’t got many pictures. That’s what you get for airbrushing bad memories out of your life, you lose a few comedy moments at the same time…Since 2008 when I split up from the person who was either in or took most of them, there have been a few cringeworthy outfit choices but the beauty of digital photography is that it’s very easy to delete them!
I have had a trawl for a giggle and found one last gem though.
Australia 2010. It had been a very cold winter back home, I’d clearly put on some extra covering. But in Australia it was DAMN hot and so the cropped linen trousers and short sleeved top came out. I can’t remember if the boys had a full length mirror. If so, I blame this unfortunate outfit decision on jet lag.
On a positive note, my hair was FANTASTIC.
I’ve actually quite enjoyed going back through my photos and having a laugh at myself. I have got plenty more pictures of me in dubious clothes or with bad hair but I think you get the gist of it. These days the fact I’m bigger tends to restrict what I wear to the point that really bad, unusual or ‘eclectic’ styles aren’t always an option but no doubt there will be pictures in the future that I’ll quickly delete and make a mental note never to repeat…
What’s your worst fashion disaster? Can you top any of these?