We all have fat days.
Even skinny women have fat days – they just call them something else. the thing is, it’s not about your weight, a fat day is just that day when you look in the mirror and think “Really? Is that the best you can come up with?”
You probably don’t even look any different than you did the day before, when you gave yourself that cheeky little look and said to yourself, “Damn, you’re looking foxy today.”
You just feel fat. Or horrid. Or you’re having a bad hair day. Whatever it is, there’s a big cloud of *meh* following you about and it’s about to rain negativity on you.
If you’re big, a fat day is the worst kind of day. Not because being fat is the worst thing there could possibly be but because if you’re having a fat day, it means there’s something going on that’s made all your Mojo disappear and replaced it with the dreaded “Not good enough.”
I have fat days when I’m in the throes of PMS and I’m inhaling crisps that I don’t even like because low quality carbohydrates seem to make me feel a bit better. These days get steadily worse as I physically bloat up with the PMS and also react to whatever junk food I can find in the cupboard by feeling a bit nauseous and, dare I say it, guilty.
If it’s not hormonal, a fat day is nothing to do with my body and usually everything to do with being really pissed off at someone or something. Especially if it’s something I don’t feel that I have a lot of control over. So if I’m really fed up that a client is messing me around, but I don’t feel brave enough to be assertive with them and point out their ass-hattery, I will end up feeling droopy and useless, stressing about whatever is going on that I can’t solve, and probably searching for sweet stuff to take my mind off it. I’ll feel ‘fat’ because a fat day isn’t about my actual size, it’s about my feelings. It’s a lot easier to project crap feelings onto something tangible that everyone can understand than it is to accept that you feel rubbish about yourself because you can’t stand up to someone who is messing you about. This applies to bosses, parents, partners, anyone you feel has the upper hand or you can’t be honest with about something.
So, the next time you’re ‘feeling fat’ just stop and disconnect your head from the F word. Remember that fat isn’t a feeling. Fat is an adjective, a description of your body. It’s no different to saying you feel blue-eyed or curly-haired today. See, it’s ridiculous. What does being fat really mean to you? Why does whatever’s affecting you emotionally make you feel as if fat is the only way you can possibly describe how you feel?
What I usually mean when I think that I feel fat is that I feel frustrated at not sticking up for myself. Fed up because something hasn’t gone well. In some ways, I feel like I’m not measuring up to my own standards so I’m not good enough.
How do you get out of a fat day? If it’s a hormonally-driven one, good luck with that. I suggest barricading yourself in your bedroom with NetFlix and putting a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on the door, then watching ‘Eat Pray Love’ on repeat until you’re either so sick of Julia Roberts that you have to stop, or you feel better.
If it’s not hormones, and it’s not just a knee jerk reaction to clothes that don’t fit (that’s not a fat day either, that’s fashion rage) ask yourself what’s really pissing you off. Be honest, and stop blaming it all on the size of your backside.
Now where did I put that DVD…..?
What does a fat day mean to you? How do you drag yourself out of the *meh* feeling?