Monthly Archives: August 2014

calling in fat

Having a fat day

calling in fat

 

We all have fat days.

Even skinny women have fat days – they just call them something else. the thing is, it’s not about your weight, a fat day is just that day when you look in the mirror and think “Really? Is that the best you can come up with?”

You probably don’t even look any different than you did the day before, when you gave yourself that cheeky little look and said to yourself, “Damn, you’re looking foxy today.”

You just feel fat. Or horrid. Or you’re having a bad hair day. Whatever it is, there’s a big cloud of *meh* following you about and it’s about to rain negativity on you.

If you’re big, a fat day is the worst kind of day. Not because being fat is the worst thing there could possibly be but because if you’re having a fat day, it means there’s something going on that’s made all your Mojo disappear and replaced it with the dreaded “Not good enough.”

I have fat days when I’m in the throes of PMS and I’m inhaling crisps that I don’t even like because low quality carbohydrates seem to make me feel a bit better. These days get steadily worse as I physically bloat up with the PMS and also react to whatever junk food I can find in the cupboard by feeling a bit nauseous and, dare I say it, guilty.

If it’s not hormonal, a fat day is nothing to do with my body and usually everything to do with being really pissed off at someone or something. Especially if it’s something I don’t feel that I have a lot of control over. So if I’m really fed up that a client is messing me around, but I don’t feel brave enough to be assertive with them and point out their ass-hattery, I will end up feeling droopy and useless, stressing about whatever is going on that I can’t solve, and probably searching for sweet stuff to take my mind off it. I’ll feel ‘fat’ because a fat day isn’t about my actual size, it’s about my feelings. It’s a lot easier to project crap feelings onto something tangible that everyone can understand than it is to accept that you feel rubbish about yourself because you can’t stand up to someone who is messing you about. This applies to bosses, parents, partners, anyone you feel has the upper hand or you can’t be honest with about something.

love me

So, the next time you’re ‘feeling fat’ just stop and disconnect your head from the F word. Remember that fat isn’t a feeling. Fat is an adjective, a description of your body. It’s no different to saying you feel blue-eyed or curly-haired today. See, it’s ridiculous. What does being fat really mean to you? Why does whatever’s affecting you emotionally make you feel as if fat is the only way you can possibly describe how you feel?

What I usually mean when I think that I feel fat is that I feel frustrated at not sticking up for myself. Fed up because something hasn’t gone well. In some ways, I feel like I’m not measuring up to my own standards so I’m not good enough.

How do you get out of a fat day? If it’s a hormonally-driven one, good luck with that. I suggest barricading yourself in your bedroom with NetFlix and putting a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on the door, then watching ‘Eat Pray Love’ on repeat until you’re either so sick of Julia Roberts that you have to stop, or you feel better.

If it’s not hormones, and it’s not just a knee jerk reaction to clothes that don’t fit (that’s not a fat day either, that’s fashion rage) ask yourself what’s really pissing you off. Be honest, and stop blaming it all on the size of your backside.

Now where did I put that DVD…..?

What does a fat day mean to you? How do you drag yourself out of the *meh* feeling?

 

 

 

skinny

Confessions

wear your size

 

I’ve been away for a while…

Most of the reason I went off radar was because I’d handed the blog over to a new hosting company, who hadn’t anticipated just how difficult wrestling it from the clenched jaws of WordPress was going to be, and ended up having to completely rebuild it. Adding extra posts would have just given the poor sods even more to do.

I also had a bit of a brain fart. It’s as if every now and again I need to remind myself that diets don’t work, by going on one for a bit and then getting really stressed and giving up.

It had been on the cards for a while, because I was feeling a bit rubbish. My joints were aching – I’ve been referred to physio because I’ve got some sort of rotator cuff injury, and one morning I woke up with a sore knee and a sore ankle and thought “I know, I’ll join Slimming World and get a bit of weight off.”

The thing is, I bloody hate diet clubs. I started off feeling optimistic that despite the sharp intake of breath when I weighed myself, I’d soon weigh less and my ankle wouldn’t hurt when I walked any more. For a few weeks I managed to grit my teeth through the meetings, despite itching to get out of the door and feeling like an overgrown five-year-old when the clapping and cheering part of the meeting started.

“You lost half a pound! That’s AWESOME!”

I could lose more than that with a big poo.

I watched in disbelief as one grown woman, so desperate to get a result, actually stripped to her bra and pants, so that she’d register that elusive half-pound weight loss. It didn’t occur to her that she still weighed exactly the same, and she wasn’t fooling anyone.

Another woman had been coming for about two years and had lost and gained the same stone over that time, but still came every week because she thought it was better than letting herself go and gaining constantly.

Almost everyone said they would have a pig out that night after they weighed themselves.

The tipping point was when it was really hot in July and I gained three pounds in a week. Every sensible person in that room would have known it was the fact I was bloated, retaining fluid in the heat and had been guzzling bottles of water all day. It put me in a really bad mood, the whole episode had cost me about £50 and I’d lost less than half a stone in two months. On top of that, I got a patronising text message from the group leader about my weight gain, saying that if I knew where it had come from, it was OK, but if I needed to talk, she was there.

I don’t know what I was thinking.

I haven’t been since. I have no idea if I’ve lost or gained weight.

skinny

Why did I do it? I think I was feeling under pressure. From where, I’m not sure, but even though I know damn well that diets never work for me, or anyone, really, I had to put myself through that because I was feeling a bit rubbish, a bit knackered and a bit stressed. Dieting and weight loss are so ingrained, so insidious, that it can be really hard even when you’re an avowed positive body image, non-dieter to resist the temptation to just try it one more time when you’re feeling crap.

I’ve been sulking about Viva Voluptuous too. It’s not sold many copies and there’s nothing I can do about it. That made me feel a bit crap about myself, and the general feeling of ‘meh’ got turned into “My body is bigger than it should be and I’m not good enough”

Slap on the wrist for Ms Clark.

And my ankle and knee pain cleared up by itself.

 

 

 

 

Join the harem

Harem pants.

Two words that make me turn my nose up, a trend I haven’t got to grips with yet, and I’m not sure that I ever will. I see this happy, smiling (definitely not a size 22) model in her funky palm print harem pants from Yours Clothing (£18) and I think – they look kinda cute. But on a 40-something plussie with a backside that could generate its own gravitational pull?  Not so much. I’m not putting myself down, just thinking about what suits me and I’m also reminded of the fruity leggings I had when I was in my twenties. I think they had a pineapple on each bum cheek. Enough said.

Pink_Palm_Print_Harem Yours Clothing

 

But….harem pants don’t seem to be going away, despite my continued ignorance of them. I thought I’d have a look at what’s out there – a lot of my snootiness where they are concerned does seem to be based on the fact that they come in such wallpaper-esque prints.

By the way, I happily wear dresses and tops in prints that are reminiscent of wallpaper, so I’m not sure where the bottom half print prejudice comes from. probably the general public reaction to the fruity leggings…

I was kind of distracted by tartan leggings on the ASOS Curve site…SO very tempted.

I did find a few examples of harem style pants, although they seem to have undergone a bit of a re-brand and are now called the New Look Inspire Animal Print Jogger. Would you go jogging in these?

New look Inspire joggers

I thought not. These *cough* joggers are £19.99 from ASOS Curve, and I think they are just so Betty Pamper, I’m going to have to tag her just so she finds them.. Are these harem pants in disguise? I think so. I must admit, I do kind of like the animal print ones, although I wouldn’t know what to wear them with – all my tops are patterned!

Even more confusing – ASOS also has the ‘ Exclusive Fold Over Peg Trouser‘ £20 – which seems like another variation on the same theme. Maybe harem pants are just not cool, so they have to be re-branded? What do you think…harem or not? I actually think these are the worst of the lot – they look a bit like my favourite old leggings after they’ve been washed so many times that the bum has gone baggy.

Peg trouser

So…harem pants…yay or nay? Are you feeling the love for the baggy trousers?

I’m willing to give them a try if any nice plus size brands want me to blog about them; but I’m not holding my breath as the recent change of hosting has lost me all my followers so I’m looking all lonely and unloved…please give me a follow (over there on the right) if you want to get more of the same in your inbox!

 

 

vv-cover-cropped1

Fat Girl eats Chinese food

Haha! That one will get the spammers out in force!

I noticed that since the upgrade I’ve lost the video so for your viewing pleasure, just in case you haven’t seen it yet, here’s the trailer I made for the Viva Voluptuous launch.

What d’you think?

I’m hoping I might sell more than eight copies in August, but I don’t think I’ll be snapping at EL James’ heels as far as sales go just yet.

Reviews so far have been dead nice though:

 I could relate to Ellie in so many ways and the journey she takes us on is so inspirational.

Fantastic, this got me laughing out loud on the train in the morning so I received a few funny looks due to that and the cheeky book cover! Ellie is so real that you identify with her instantly, she’s funny, warm and vulnerable and flawed just like all of us.”

 I heartily recommend this positive and feel good read to anyone in need of an injection of positive body image.”

Aww.

Would love to know what you think… You can, of course, download it here…

wine

How to Fall in Love with your Life

wine

 

On the face of it, today probably isn’t a great day for me to be talking about the virtues of falling in love with your life.

I’m a chocolate seeking hormone monster at the moment. I had a bit of a strop at the man yesterday because I was going stir crazy, had a stinking headache all over the weekend which meant that I didn’t get to meet up with my girl-pals for cocktails, and I was missing my family and social life.

But if there’s a free book on offer for the price of an email address, which will tell me all about how to fall head over heels in love with my life RIGHT NOW, then who am I to turn my nose up?

I’ll make a full confession – I did read this lovely little e-book before it was officially released, and it inspired me to get all 80s kooky and sing along to ‘Take on Me’ like nobody could hear me. Even if they probably could and may well have been wincing/laughing.

 

The book is written by Donna Highton, who admits right at the start that she isn’t happy ALL the time. That would just be weird, right? Donna also admits to a penchant for having a little dance break when her brain gets fogged up with to-do lists and she can’t think straight. How cool is that? I’ve spoken to Donna on Skype and I can totally see her throwing shapes to a bit of cheesy pop.

So, isn’t getting all happy clappy and falling in love with your life a bit, well, selfish? Not according to Donna. She says,

One of the looniest objections I come across is the idea that it is somehow ‘selfish’ to love your life. Seriously? The people who will be most affected by your happiness are your friends and family. They will get happy dust sprinkled all over them, like it or not. They will get the joy that comes with being with a joyful person. They will see what it looks like to love life.”

That sounds pretty cool to me, to be fair.

So, if you’re feeling a little devoid of Mojo at the moment, and I know mine has scurried away somewhere until the PMS has receded, you could do worse than download yourself a free copy of this book, and cheer yourself up.

Download your copy here

Gorgeously Full Fat; bringing a little bit of a grin to your Monday.

I’m off for an eighties singalong now.

 

 

 

nutty

I’m back and I’m nuts!

nuts

My first blog post since June, and it’s going to be a sweet and sour one so I’ll leave the pretty bit until later and just get my little tantrum out of the way before telling you about something nice. Deal?

So, here goes. I’ve decided that from now on Gorgeously Full Fat is going to embrace the ‘life’ part of a full fat life, as well as the ‘fat’ bit, so you might find the occasional post about something you wouldn’t expect. Like being allergic to nuts.

I’m one of those weird people who is allergic to peanuts. It’s a severe allergy in that it get triggered with just the tiniest bit of nut; I once went out for an Indian and the first mouthful made my mouth swell up despite it being a Tikka Massala which shouldn’t have had peanuts in at all. The restaurant manager swore to the ends of the earth that there was no peanut in there but my swollen mouth, itchy throat and tingling tongue said otherwise. I guzzled about three glasses of water and took an antihistamine, and it calmed down. That Indian was closed down within a few weeks for dodgy dealings with herbs that weren’t on the menu….and I did manage to get the guy I was out with that night to actually appear a bit concerned about me, which I thought was a result at the time. Anyhow, it just shows how sensitive people with a nut allergy can be.

I’m a grown up; I’m used to the pain in the arse of being told I can’t have any in-flight food for the duration of a 24 hour flight to Australia, I’ve sat through posh dinners with just a bread roll and a bottle of wine when they refused to let me eat anything because they couldn’t say whether it might have nuts in.

But if you were told that a four year old was so severely allergic to nuts that a Ryan Air flight wasn’t selling them (and you know how they love to make you spend money on their overpriced snacks) and the cabin crew warned anyone who had bought their own nuts NOT to eat them on the plane because they were a health risk to a little girl, would you think “What a load of crap, I’ll eat my nuts anyway” or just leave them until you’ve got off the flight?

nutty

A passenger on a flight back from Tenerife ignored two warnings from the crew and a request from the person next to him and decided he needed his nuts RIGHT THERE. The little girl, who was four rows away, inhaled the fumes from the nuts via the disgusting recycled air, and went into anaphylactic shock. Nice work, that man. I hope you enjoyed them.

Peanut (and other nut) allergies can kill, very quickly. If you’re on a plane, you breathe in everyone else’s air, and vapours from their food, which is why the Ryan Air crew did the right thing by not serving nuts and warning people not to eat any on board. But someone always has to complain that it’s their human right to eat whatever they like and bugger anyone else. Whatever happened to compassion for your fellow human being?

None to be found here, on the story comments page. Apparently they shouldn’t have taken the girl on the plane, and it was the other passengers’ right to eat whatever they wanted, even if it might kill a child. Nice.

Read the comments here

Anyway, if I can do my li’l bit to educate people who don’t know about this, it’s all good right. So here goes.

1. The reason you shouldn’t eat nuts on a plane if someone has a serious nut allergy is that IT MIGHT KILL THEM. Specifically, particles of allergen get into the air as you open the bag, or as you breathe out while you eat them. The plane takes this air, the person with the allergy breathes it in, and it’s as if they ate the nut themselves.

2. An EpiPen isn’t a cure. It will help, but a person with anaphylactic shock on a plane usually needs hospital treatment. The pens don’t always work first time. You could end up being diverted to the nearest airport and waiting while the person in shock is taken to hospital by ambulance. All that inconvenience for a bag of KP?

3. It’s very unlikely to have the same effect if you eat the nuts where there is a supply of fresh air, like the airport, because it’s fresh air, not recycled, and there’s a lot more of it.

Please, if you’re on a flight and someone tells you not to eat nuts because of another passenger’s allergy, don’t just assume it’s health and safety Nazis. It’s really not.

(I’d be interested to hear what you think about this, too.)

Anyway, now my rant is done, I can move onto lovely things. Lovely, crafty things to be precise.

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A lovely friend of mine told me about The Curvy Sewing Collective so I thought I would share. If I could sew for toffee I’d be wanting to be a part of this, but I can’t so I thought I’d let the crafty people among you know about it instead.

It’s a great place not just for sewing and creativity, but also for plus size positivity, blogging and more, so give them some blog love if you get a chance. There’s patterns, tutorials and loads more, so if you’re like me and would LOVE to design your own plus size fashion (but not like me in that you can actually sew) it’s a fabulous find, so thanks for that, Kerry.

Hey…it’s good to be back …