Meet Cheryl Underhill, today’s guest blogger. She sent me this great article about having fun and partying despite all the accepted wisdom that fat people prefer to stay in unnoticed, and I just had to share it,.
“Have you ever felt so ashamed of yourself and the way you look that you can’t bear to go outside? Family events are missed; friends’ invites are ignored, pleas for you to attend social gatherings are refused. Invitations of any description are met with a sense of dread, as immediately you start to picture the clothes in your wardrobe, knowing that no matter what you do in the next 2 weeks, you’ll never be able to fit back into that dress that used to cover your belly, or squeeze into those jeans that make your bum look smaller.
“It’s no good, you don’t want to embarrass whichever of your friends is celebrating after all, you know that they don’t really want to spend time with their friends, they want to spend time with their thin, well dressed friends. Have you ever felt like you just don’t want to leave the house because you’re simply just too fat?!
No – me neither!
“I am definitely fat. Let’s not skirt around the issue trying hard to find a word that won’t offend, I suppose if the word fat makes you feel uncomfortable you could describe me and ‘plump’, ‘a bigger lady’, or maybe even just ‘bubbly’.
“Whatever word you use, it won’t change the fact that I am fat. I am fat and I have never ever once felt ashamed or like I can’t go outside because of that. Admittedly I am currently trying to get healthy for medical reasons (which will inevitably mean losing some weight), but recently I have begun to get so pissed off with the number of TV adverts, articles and celebrities that tell all of us (not even just overweight people), that if we get super skinny, life will be amazing and we’ll stop feeling rubbish and will want to go out and socialise more.
“Adverts for weight loss programs are the worst, normally ex-customers tell us how fabulous they feel after they’ve dropped 2 dress sizes, now they can go to that Christmas party – meaning before they would have had to stay at home with their cats? These adverts are full of women who in their before photo have no makeup on, messy hair, baggy clothes and a face that looks like someone has just pissed on their shoes, whilst the wonderful ‘after diet’ shots are the same women done up in a well fitted outfit.
“Now if you’ve used one of the many many weight loss group meeting type programmes and that has worked for you – well done, I’m very happy for you and I wish you well with your goals, but please stop taking over my TV telling me how hard you found it to go out when you were fat and how you missed so many parties… I resent the idea that if I were to wake up tomorrow having miraculously lost 3 stone somehow I’d become a totally different person, I can confidently say it wouldn’t change who I am, just how other people see me.
“I’m fat, I’m sociable and I LOVE to party!
“For me there is one thing that I always wear when I go to a party – a smile and a little bit of confidence.
I’ll leave you with this: a lovely male friend recently said to me. “You know, with a smile like yours, you could have any man in this room. Men love a confident woman.”
“So come on my chubby, bubbly, bigger friends. This festive season; please don’t let those adverts get you down. Stick on a party dress, dig out those heels, paint on a bright lippy and plaster on that smile! You are beautiful inside and out – and anyone who really matters will know that anyway.”